Are You Patient with Yourself?

I can be my harshest critic. Do you feel that way, too?

I find this is true for many of my clients (both coaching and animal communication), too. They are usually trailblazers who are on a mission to create massive change for themselves and the world.

Like me, they want to learn as much as they can, put it into practice, then share it with the world! They hold themselves to a very high standard and become impatient when they aren’t moving forward fast enough. Yup, that’s me, too!

Over this past year, I have been learning the lesson of patience. This is something some of the animals have shared during my animal communication readings. (You may not know this, but many times the readings I do for people contain a message for me, too! Cool, huh?!)

Patience comes in all different shapes and sizes.

You may need to develop more patience with your kids or your pet. It may be necessary for you to learn patience with your co-worker who always needs more direction.

One of the most difficult forms of patience for me is patience with myself. I’ve discovered:

  • rushing things along, doesn’t always have the best outcome
  • allowing things to percolate results in something better than I imagined
  • giving myself time and space ends up with things falling into place at the right time.

So how can you create more patience for yourself?

The first thing I want to share about this is that it’s an evolving adventure and there isn’t a one size fits all solution. Be sure to experiment with different methods to be patient with yourself, so you can choose what works best for you.

Here are 3 tips that have helped me…

Spending time in nature

If you know me, you’d be surprised if this wasn’t included! And it’s true. When I’m frustrated and impatient with myself, I will often take a walk on the beach.

I’ve learned to NOT set out on my walk to “figure out” my situation.

Instead, I start my walks by focusing on being fully present during my walk. Sometimes I notice the rhythm of my pace, or I hear an unfamiliar bird call, or I see an interesting cloud formation. I spend time noticing my surroundings.  

As my mind wanders, I end up pondering my impatience. Sometimes I come up with a new perspective or idea. And, other times, the impatience starts to melt away, leaving me feeling calmer, more relaxed and yes, more patient.

Talk to a trusted confidant

Being impatient can cloud your perspective. For me, it can create tunnel vision. Talking with someone you trust, being open to them sharing their thoughts, ideas and perspectives can be invaluable.

This can mean something such as:

  • grabbing coffee with your best friend,
  • talking with a colleague who you know supports you or,
  • in my case, meeting with my coach.

I always walk away from my meetings with my coach pondering something I hadn’t considered before. She provides me with the space to talk through my situation. Saying something outloud to someone who really listens can make a huge difference! My coach also asks questions that sparks a new way for me to see my situation.

Give yourself a time-out

This may sound counter intuitive. Sometimes it’s the perfect way to create patience when you’re impatient. Go do something you love to do or do nothing at all!

During my animal communication readings, I ask the animal what lesson they are working on with their person. Patience comes up frequently. Also, during the reading I find out how the animal and person can work on the lesson together. Often, they will ask their person to spend time with them doing nothing. For example, they will show me a picture of themselves and their person sitting side-by-side (often outside) just being together.

When you take a time-out, you may be surprised how it can reset your patience. Taking a physical, emotional, and mental break will help to detach you from the frustrating situation. Then, when you return, you’re re-starting from a different perspective. This fresh start also can help you to accept when something needs more time before it comes to fruition.

Patience is a skill anyone can improve. Sure, it may come more naturally to some people. Being aware of what kind of things cause you to feel impatient (especially with yourself) is a great first step in developing this important skill.

Be kind to yourself. We’re all learning and growing as we walk this journey together. Being impatient with yourself won’t get you there faster!

Helen Kosinski

I'm an ICF credentialed coach and a certified animal communicator. I partner with ever evolving intuitive businesspeople who are on a mission to create a big impact. Before opening my business in 2005, I spent close to 25 years in technology in the financial services industry. Because of my time in corporate, I understand the overwhelm and frustration that keeps businesspeople stuck. I offer my clients unique approaches to gain clarity. This results in dissolving their blocks, getting unstuck and forging ahead to bring their big impact into the world.

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